Since We Fell by Dennis Lehane (2017)

since we fell

In this new thriller, Dennis Lehane has written a novel that is really two books in one. The first part of the book is the tale of Rachel Childs, a woman trying to make her way in the world following series of devastating events. The second part of the book is a story about whether or not Rachel can rebuild herself after yet another enormous set-back. Together the two parts make for a well-written and thrilling story, with a strong and resilient main character that you cannot help but root for.

As a young girl, Rachel Childs was raised by a single mother after her father abandoned them. This abandonment left Rachel emotionally fragile and her mother filled with rage and bent on controlling and manipulating her daughter, determined to make it so Rachel would never be able to leave her mother to search for her father.

As she grew, Rachel found academic and professional successes, but remained haunted by her father’s desertion and her mother’s emotional abuse. When her mother is killed in a car crash, Rachel becomes determined to find her father once and for all. Along the way, Rachel finds that her mother had lied throughout her childhood, and many — if not all — of the truths she had relied on were never real. News of her mother’s betrayals leave Rachel unsteady and unsure of who she really is, but Rachel is determined to build a life that has all of the things she felt were denied her: stability, love, and honesty.

Flash forward several years, when we find Rachel living in Boston and fast rising through the ranks at a local televisions station as their star reporter. Married to a fellow news reporter, a man who is admires Rachel’s beauty, her success, and her drive but not the wounded woman within; he does not give her what she needs emotionally, but does give Rachel the sense of normalcy after such a tumultuous early life.

When the Haitian earthquakes hit, Rachel is given the chance to become an international reporter for a larger network. Initially, her reporting on the crisis win her acclaim and promotion, but soon the despair of the Haitian people and the horror that she faces while there begin to wear Rachel down. She has an on-air break-down that leads to her being fired, her reputation completely ruined, and her marriage dissolving.

Without the safety net of her job and husband, Rachel descends into the worst mental health breakdown of her life. Now panic attacks, crippling anxiety, and agoraphobia mean she lives like a shut in, unable to complete even the most basic tasks.

Against all odds, Rachel meets and falls in love with a man who promises to restore her life. Brain cares for her, accepts her mental health challenges with love, and helps her build a world where she feels safe… or so she thinks. When a series of strange events happen, Rachel is forced to look at her life — a life she wants to believe is finally perfect after all her past heart-aches — she must decide whether or not her husband has been lying to her, making her crippling fears worse not better, and using her mental state on control her.

And that is just part one of the novel. The rest is a thriller filled with twists and turns, lies, and murder. A wonderful book, perfect for summer!

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